Caught with my pants down

Sometimes the best time to go grocery shopping is just before midnight on Saturday night. That’s what I did tonight. I went out just after The Soup with Joel McHale ended and bought some cereal, milk and frozen pizza. Then I came home; i brought all the groceries inside in one trip. I put the milk and frozen pizza away, then got undressed and ready for bed. As I walked from the sink to my bed I realized the door was still open. I had stripped down to my underwear and the door was still open! Oops.

Inner City Life

Made a run to the grocery store at 1:15 am tonight. Had to buy earplugs. I want to move back to suburbia.

The Know-It-All

Why not use books as placeholders for our memory? When we think of our life-history, we could reference our experiences with the books that we were reading at the time. Ender’s Game would remind me of Christmas break 2009, where my family and I spent the holiday in Utah for the first time in years. It was Lauren’s first Christmas with the Patch family. I have a suspicion that we went to Utah to ease Lauren’s homesickness. We stayed at my Grandma Morden’s house and clapped when we opened each other’s gifts.

Matilda would remind me of when I was a thirteen-year-old and thought if I tried hard enough I too would be able to move objects with my mind. Jesus the Christ would help me remember the closeness I felt with the Spirit on my mission. As I think of all the things I learned from that wonderful book I remember the work, the successes, and the disappointments of my time in Guatemala.

Now I think of Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Novels and Stories. Volume one brings me back to Provo, UT where I had moved to take a Kaplan course so that I might be able to do better on the LSAT the second time around. I remember reading A Study in Scarlet and pointing out the LDS Church references to my roommate who had also read that novel. I remember how frustrated and impatient I had been with him and my other roommates. I remember finding a relationship between the logic I had to learn for success on the LSAT and the logic Holmes used to solve his cases.

Volume two brought me into law school and introduced me to Stefani Wright. I clearly remember our instant messenger chats that led to emails. I remember the emails that led to our Skype dates. I remember trying to sleep Sunday evenings after those long conversations and not being able to sleep because my pulse was still up. Holmes and Watson guided me into my dreams. I remember our six-hour Skype date on Valentine’s Day when I bought the plane ticket for Stefani to come visit me.

The Know-It-All brought Stefani to me. I’ll never forget driving back from our day-trip to San Francisco. We were in the parking lot of Best Buy looking for Season 5 of Family Guy. It had been one of the best days I think I’ve ever had. Stefani and I got along astonishingly well for two people who had only dated virtually. In that parking lot (I think it was when we were driving away) I told Stef that I was probably going to ask her to marry me. For some strange reason this incredible, beautiful, fun, smart, charming woman said to me, “I’m probably going to say yes.” If I wasn’t driving I probably would have tackled her right there and smothered her with kisses (or if my Mom is reading this, hugs). As it was, I just smiled and was perfectly happy.

Stefani asked me, “Do you love me?”

I said, “I think I do.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes, it is.”

“Good, because I love you too.”

I never thought I would find someone to marry me. I thought marriage was years away from me. Now I know differently. That evening I came home and prayed. “Heavenly Father, is Stefani Jean Wright the girl I should marry?” I waited a second, then said, “You know what, I already know the answer. I have felt it since the day she got here. Please help me treat her the way that You would have me treat her. Thank you for sending Stefani to me.”

The next three and a half days are a blur. They went by so fast. I called her dad and asked him if it would be okay for me to ask Stefani to marry me. He said yes. Then I talked with him for a while. I handed the phone back to Stefani who then talked with her mom for a while. Her mom wanted me to ask her for permission too. So, I did.

It’s hard to believe that we fell in love so quickly. It’s difficult to accept that we really are right for each other. But it’s true. I’ve told Stefani that I love her everyday since that Monday night when we drove back from San Francisco. I mean it more and more every time I say it. I look forward to July 15 when she and I will be sealed together forever.

I just finished The Know-It-All. It was a gift from Stefani, and a great book. I’d recommend to anybody who likes to read. It is always a little bit sad when I finish a good book, but I’m excited to see what experiences the next book I read will bring me. I’ve never been more excited and hopeful for the future than I am right now!

the wait is almost over

This is the all that's left of the paper chain I made at the beginning of the month in anticipation of Stefani's coming here. The count down is almost over and in twenty-four and a half hours I will finally get to meet this interesting girl with questionable taste in men. I'm a little excited. I'm a little nervous too. I get to wait in the airport with a sign that says her name. I've seen people doing that; I think it will be fun.

But now that the time for visits has come, the time for preparation has past! I still have a day to work out, but I'm pretty sure that no matter how many sit-ups I do tomorrow I will not end up looking like Daniel Craig in the latest James Bond. Perhaps my time would be better spent shopping for more flattering clothing than speedo-style swimwear.

Despite how fruitful those efforts may be, I've decided that I will use my time tomorrow to finish cleaning my apartment and finalizing my plans for the week and what to do with Stef. I still have to do the dishes; that'll take about an hour of my time. Maybe I will stop by the mall and check out the new spring styles this year.

I do have school work to do as well. So tomorrow I'll wake up early, clean, study, shop, study, and plan. Then when I'm about to go to bed I'll head over to the airport. It's a good plan. Maybe I'll even wear my PJ's. This may be my last post for a little while, but I'll try to update throughout the week.

By the way, this is how many paper chains I've

had to wait through!

Sad to Happy

Sometimes I just want to cry. Like last night. I was tired and I felt like there was no way I could get everything done for today. If I didn’t pass my Contracts exam I’d have my grade bumped down half a grade. I just felt overwhelmed. I wanted to just give up for the night and cry. Lay in my bed and let it out. But I’m a man. I can’t cry on demand. I can’t just say, “Ok, I’m going to let my emotions go for the evening.” Sometimes I wish I could; but it doesn’t work like that for me. So I just read a happy book until I was exhausted and fell asleep.

This morning I woke up. I showered. I ate. I studied. After a while I remembered that today is just a day, like any other. This too will pass. I looked at my watch. 12:47 pm. In a few hours it will be Spring Break. I just have to make myself go and take the test. So I brushed my teeth, packed my bag, and left. It turns out the exam wasn’t as hard as I had expected. We were tested on something that is notoriously difficult to understand. For some weird reason this particular rule was really easy for me. I thoroughly analyzed the problem and wrote down my organized thoughts.

I even got done a little early. With the extra time I went to the cafeteria and bought myself a diet coke. I reviewed for our Criminal Law class and off I went. Rape is so much more sad in real life than it ever is on television. I thought that I had been desensitized by watching so much Law & Order: SVU. Maybe I have been. Still these cases are not fun to read. There are some deadbeat losers in the world. Happily, I haven’t met any of these people. Perhaps someday I’ll get the honor of defending one of them. I’ll take Denny Crane’s approach. (I can’t seem to find a link to the clip I’m thinking about. I’ll try to upload it later.)

Well, Criminal Law went well, and as always the day came to an end. When I was walking home from class and talking with a friend that lives in my apartment complex the air felt lighter and the sun warmer. I really think that my body was more receptive to the beauty of the day after I had relieved myself of what was stressing me out. Now it’s Spring Break! I’ve gotta get my apartment clean for when Stefani comes!

Darn you Calvin Klein!

Well today’s entry is going to be significantly shorter that the last few. I’ve had a serious migraine all day and I have an exam tomorrow in contracts. Wish me luck! Earlier today I was searching for a little respite from the books and I realized that I hadn’t watched the most recent Family Guy episode. I went to hulu.com and clicked on the link expecting the usual semi-uncomfortable inappropriate humor that I have come to love. I wasn’t disappointed, but when the first commercial came on for Calvin Klein underwear... Let’s just say that’s the most uncomfortable I’ve ever been. I was even alone, and it was enough to make me turn it off. I was going to put a link here, but I decided against it. I wouldn’t wish that kind of torture on anybody. Well, that’s all. I’m so excited for Spring Break next week and Stefani coming to town. Just one more day of class before the break!!!

Life's lessons learned

I was tired all day today! Normally that would be no strange occurrence; I’m in my first year of law school and I already have sleeping problems as it is. But last night I slept like a baby! I went to bed early, and got a full nine hours of sleep. I should have been fine. In my contracts class after lunch I was struggling to focus. It was even pretty interesting. We were going over a situation where a farmer let a couple of archeology students onto his land. With his permission they did some digging and found a fossilized Tyrannosaurus Rex! (I’m not sure how they found this guy’s property in the first place. Sometimes cases don’t give you all the information you may want.) They got the farmer’s permission to dig up the fossil which they eventually removed and took to a museum. Then they sent the farmer a check for $5,000. It all seems fine and dandy. Then these entrepreneurial archeologists turn around and sell the skeleton for over a million dollars! Then we had to dig up some way for the farmer to get a piece of the larger sum.

Unfortunately for the farmer he didn’t have a very good case, but my point remains: it was an interesting class and I was still sleepy. “Oh well,” I thought, “it’s right after lunch. I’ll get a second wind in a little while.” I managed to keep my eyes open the rest of class. We had a 15 minute break and then it was off to Criminal Law with the always interesting Professor Vitello.

In Criminal Law I was still tired! It’s my favorite professor for goodness sakes, and I still can’t keep my head in the game. I managed to pay attention, and with great effort came a great reward: because I was trying my best to look interested, I didn’t get called on once! Thank heavens. It was yet another interesting class.

For the last two classes in Criminal Law we have been going over forcible rape. Not the most pleasant subject. I never NEVER thought I would say this, but today I actually wished I was back at BYU. I’m contemplating deleting that sentence because of how anxious I became to get out of the Mormon marriage factory. I have said many things about the cultural nuances of the Mormon mecca that is BYU, but if there is one thing I have to admit it is that there was a moderate level of maturity in the classrooms. Whenever we were talking about an awkward subject it was approached carefully and respected. There were no penis jokes in my anatomy classes. There was very little social commentary when we talked about the Bonobo monkeys vs. the Chimpanzees (they are genetically identical but are considered different species because Chimps fight to resolve their differences while Bonobos resolve theirs through “love?”).

Now with that background, enter McGeorge School of Law. Before class started today the girl in front of me was discussing the ratio of floaters to sinkers. Gross. The maturity level didn’t necessarily ascend during class either. I wont share all of the hullabaloo that goes on in class, but here is an example of a funny situation that happened last week. Rape of the first degree has two major elements: force and lack of consent. We did manage to have some interesting discussions on how the law-makers (predominantly male) to some extent expect victims (usually women) to react like a man would (viz. fight back). One student just could not get over the force requirement for conviction. He said, “I just don’t see why force is necessary. Can’t a lack of consent be enough for conviction?” Our teacher then explained lack of consent often isn’t communicated verbally. He gave several hypotheticals, and ended with him asking this student, “now try to imagine a situation where there is force AND there is consent.” The class was watching David try to imagine this situation. He got really red in the face, and after a second Professor Vitello said, “While you’re fantasizing about that, the rest of us are going to move on.”

Well, class was interesting and entertaining, but still I was exhausted. I came home looking forward to a snack when I remembered what I had for breakfast. Chocolate chip cookies. Not exactly the breakfast of champions. I’ve learned several things today: don’t let random archeology students onto your property, don’t be a rapist, and I need to eat better breakfast. Man, I need a wife.